Lifting the Corners of your Mouth

April 22 2015

When too many days go by without a trip to Swan River Yoga, it feels like ‘something is not right.’  A few months ago, during class, a yoga instructor said to “turn the corners of the mouth up.”  At the time, it was difficult for me to recognize which direction was up, so I made some strained expression on my face before I realized the “yoga pose” was to smile.  I really enjoyed the thought of smiling being a physical movement of muscles, rather than an uncontrollable response to something that made you happy.  Ever since then, I have tried to incorporate this new yoga pose into every practice.  In some poses, it is actually quite difficult.  In others, it helps redirect the focus.  But, it always enhances the experience of my yoga practice.

When I returned from a two-week trip, I practiced lifting the corners of my mouth during a yoga class with a new instructor.  At the end of class, she told me that she enjoyed watching me practice, as I was smiling so much … even in the hard poses.  That day, I probably had even more smiles than usual though, as I have been overwhelmed with love and support after letting everyone know that I will be starting a faculty position in Montana.

There is one person that has perfected this yoga move: my college roommate, Kathy.  She smiles.  Always smiles.  It took four years of living in the same room with her to differentiate her happy smile from her normal smile from her angry smile.  It’s all in the eyes.  The mouth remains constant.  My sister, who was about 8 when she first met Kathy, asked me “does she smile in her sleep?”  And, I can tell you that, yes, she smiles in her sleep.  But, she also dreams about swords and you don’t want to mess with her when she is dreaming about swords (as I did by accident one night … ).

Smiling is an act of happiness, but it also creates happiness.  So, don’t forget to smile!


A throwback to our junior year of college.


Even when she is wearing a mask, you can see that she is smiling.

Job Search is Over!

April 13 2015

Finally, I can announce to everyone: I will be starting a tenure-track faculty position in the CS department at Montana State University this Fall.  Really, it is a relief to have this decision over with.

The MSU Job Interview:

I arrived the night before my interview, and had to prepare my “teaching demo” between arriving at the hotel and going to bed.  (well, I started on the plane …)  Dave joined me in Bozeman, MT for the interview day.  During my talk, he sat in the second row.  It was really a happy feeling for him to be there with me.  There are several times in life where the practice of mindfulness is most apparent, and  job interviews is one of them.  I kept thinking to myself “this is my job interview, stay in the moment!”  This was my first interview, and I wasn’t sure if, or how many, more interviews would be extended to me.

My job interview consisted of the formal research talk, a 10-minute teaching demo, meeting with various faculty members, meeting with the dean, and (of course) going out to dinner.  My meeting with the dean went WAY over the scheduled time-slot.  And, when someone peeked into the office to let him know that there was a crowd of people waiting to meet with me, he responded “but I’m the dean!”  I guess that meeting went well.  :)

The members of the department were incredibly nice and went above and beyond making us welcome in Bozeman.  It just felt right, and so I am looking forward to joining this department in just a few months.  The hardest part about deciding to move to Bozeman, MT is that it is rather far away from Philly, NYC, and NOLA.

Other thoughts from the job hunt:

Not all interviews went as smoothly as the interview at MSU.  As expected, some CS folks have told me “why are you applying to CS departments, you are really a mathematician” and some Math folks told me “why are you applying to math departments, you are in computer science.”  When this question was asked, I always thought to myself, “will they be able to fairly evaluate me when I am evaluated for promotion and tenure?”  Probably not.

One interview, though, takes the cake.  The chair of the department said to me “you don’t have any children, so that won’t be a problem” and made comments about how I must come from a poor background since I qualified for the GAANN fellowship.  Another faculty member at that same university tried to intimidate me, saying that it is very strange that I have had any postdoc in CS, yet alone, two post-docs spanning three years.  The feeling I got there was a rather un-welcoming feeling.

So, starting this fall, I will be an assistant professor!  Now, I just need some graduate students and some big grants … feel free to send both students and money my way.

Robert Redford

One of the sights in Bozeman: stepping in Robert Redford’s shoeprints.

The Bus Stop

January 21 2015

Today I had a rather interesting experience waiting for the bus.  (I usually bike from my car to my office, but I brought in my electric tea kettle today, so I decided to take the bus).

A woman waiting for the bus comments that it is always late (I think — not my experience, it’s always very punctual … but then again, I usually don’t take it).  Trying to make conversation, I ask why the route has changed.  She explains that it is because so many people are taking it (again, not my experience), so they needed to start using bigger buses.  She then comments that it doesn’t seem like the buses are bigger though.  (what do I know about this one?)  She made some comment about how bad the traffic is and how she hates waiting for the bus and then waiting in traffic.  Again, this is not my experience.

For a few minutes, I was perplexed.  I think she was trying to be nice and make conversation, but everything just came across so negative.  And, I think this happens a lot when we have casual conversations with strangers.  For some reason, it’s easier to complain or to say something negative than it is to say something positive.  I wonder if I ever come across so negative … I hope not, but I’ll think twice about complaining about the weather next time it’s “almost” freezing outside.

First Official Rejection Letter

January 12 2015

Mid-December, I finished applying to faculty positions (well, for the most part … there might be one or two more applications I submit).  The academic job market “calendar” is as follows:

  1. Deadlines for submitting applications: September through February.  Some schools have a “soft” deadline followed by a “hard” deadline, with only one of those dates really posted.  The application consists of a CV, a research statement, and a teaching statement.  Some schools additionally require a “diversity statement” or a list of publications (which is a subset of your CV, so why can’t they just look at that?)  I also submitted a cover letter for every school (not mandatory, but probably expected).  I spent about 1 hour to write each cover letter.  The most important document in this application is the CV, but the one I spent the most time on was my research statement.
  2. The phone and/or Skype screening: December through February.  Of all of their applications (in the hundreds), they select a few to be phone interviewed.  I’m not sure what the exact numbers are, but I think each school may phone screen maybe 5 – 25 applicants.
  3. The on-site: Jan/Feb through April-ish? You go there, give a talk, and meet with people.  Some schools only let you get to this stage if they really really like you (inviting only one or two per open position), and at others, you are still in a rather large pool (10 on-sites with one offer).
  4. Offers are made shortly after all on-sites, and they pretty much expect an answer right away (or, so is the experience of people I know).

Note the overlap and large time windows.  Oh, and the schools that aren’t interested … they usually don’t even let you know.

Back to the purpose of the post: today, I received my first rejection letter.  But, I take this as a good sign for two reasons (1) In this particular department, I ranked among the top 125 of the 539 applicants.  (2) this means that schools are starting to make decisions about whom they want to interview.

Business Writing: “Enclosed Please Find” Means You Lost It (Reblog)

December 4 2014

I’m not the only one putting together”my package” (cover letter + research statement + teaching statement + publication list + 3-6 references  + … ) for the academic job market.  And, although we’re probably competing for the same jobs, my friends / academic siblings and I are helping each other through this stressful situation.

I read over a cover letter the other day for a friend.  I heard nails on a chalkboard hen  I read the following phrase: “Attached please find …” I’ve seen it before, but I don’t like it.   I told this to my friend, and he was shocked.  So, I found the following blog post that affirms my feelings …

Sandra wrote today asking about the expression “enclosed please find”:

I took a business letter writing class in 1988 and was told NEVER to say “enclosed please find” because it’s redundant! I see correspondence from lawyers using “enclosed please find.” As the letter writer you are saying “enclosed” SO WHY would you say again, PLEASE FIND?? It

doesn’t make sense.

Good question, Sandra! Here’s the short answer:

Only use “please find” if you have lost something and want your reader to find it.

Like Sandra, I have seen the phrases “attached please find” and “enclosed please find” countless times in other people’s writing. In my first office job back in college, people wrote, “Enclosed herewith please find.” Those were the painfully verbose years.

We have many options to replace those needlessly wordy phrases:

  • Here is . . .
  • Enclosed are . . .
  • Attached is . . .
  • We have enclosed . . .
  • I have attached . . .
  • The attached proposal includes . . .
  • The enclosed document shows . . .
  • Please review the attached diagram . . .
  • The attached spreadsheet covers . . .
  • Please use the enclosed envelope to . . .

You may be wondering whether legal documents require a formality that only “enclosed please find” and similar phrases convey. Well, legal writing expert Bryan Garner calls “please find enclosed” and like phrases “archaic deadwood.”

Garner points out that such phrases have been condemned in business writing texts since the late 1800s. In his HBR Guide to Better Business Writing, he cites an 1880 text in which a man named Richard Grant White wrote, “A more ridiculous use of words, it seems to me, there could not be.”

There’s your answer, Sandra. Let’s echo Richard Grant White’s cadence and confidence: “A more ridiculous use of words, it seems to be, there could not be.”

In your work do you still see “please find attached” and other old-fashioned phrases? Feel free to share your frustration here.


via Business Writing: “Enclosed Please Find” Means You Lost It.

What is a Computer Engineer?

November 21 2014

This past week I have been overcome with anger, and it disgusts me. It started with an email from Carola linking to an article on the Daily Dot about the Barbie book.  My immediate response was “no, this is not real. this is a nightmare.”  Then, I purposely forgot about it for about 15 hours, until I decided to read the book to Dave.

“I’m only creating the design ideas … I’ll need Steven and Brian’s help to turn it into a real game!”

Alarm bells were already ringing, but I was still giving her the benefit of the doubt.  I read on.  A virus crashed her computer, and then she proceeded to spread that computer virus onto her sister Skipper’s computer.  Skipper’s response?  A pillow fight!  Admittedly, she gets advice from a female computer science teacher.  But, she ignores said advice when Steven and Brian tell her “It will go faster if Brian and I help” and proceed to do everything for her.  In the end, Barbie takes all of the credit and mistakenly thinks that she has demonstrated what it takes to be a computer engineer.  She has no clue!

After reading that book out loud to Dave, I could not sit still.  I paced around the house.  I was almost in tears. How is this possible?  Moreover, what can I do with all of this emotion that I am feeling?  I decided  to make a petition.  I am not a petition making person.  I am not a person who shows any reaction when watching a movie: I don’t laugh and I rarely have a strong opinion on liking a movie or not liking it (well, other than LOVING Casablanca … but who doesn’t love that movie?)  I am still baffled about why this book could ignite so much emotion in me all of a sudden.

I think the biggest reason is that I feel that my career choice is often misunderstood by many.  I am a postdoctoral researcher.  No one outside of academia really knows what that means.  I try to explain, but I often get the response “oh, so you are a teacher” or “oh, so you are a student.”  Sigh. No.  (I’m working on a blog post to explain that.  Maybe one day that post will be done).  This Barbie book could have really helped me.  If done the right way, this book could have done the explaining of what “computer engineer” (or, in my case computer scientist / mathematician) does all day.  The gender roles were just icing on the cake for me.  For me, this is not just about how Mattel / Random House have published an extremely sexist book, it is also about the fact that they failed to portray what a computer engineer is.

I strongly feel that the record needs to set straight.  Whatever the title: computer engineer / computer scientist / engineer / mathematician … I want everyone to know that if I “work with computers” that does not necessarily mean that “I fix computers.” (I am very grateful for people who do fix computers though!) And, I am very happy to help friends / family trouble shoot their computer problems, but most of the time, I am as helpful as I just know what to Google.  What I do in my daily life is so much more than just use a computer.  And, it’s often hard for me to explain why or how to friends and family.  And, Barbie just made that harder.  I think this is why I am so outraged.

Over the past few days, progress has been made.  Mattel issued an apology:

The Barbie I Can Be A Computer Engineer book was published in 2010. Since that time we have reworked our Barbie books. The portrayal of Barbie in this specific story doesn’t reflect the Brand’s vision for what Barbie stands for. We believe girls should be empowered to understand that anything is possible and believe they live in a world without limits. We apologize that this book didn’t reflect that belief. All Barbie titles moving forward will be written to inspire girl’s imaginations and portray an empowered Barbie character.

In my opinion, this is not good enough.  Yes, they apologized, and yes, they will make future books more empowering.  But, why not pull this book from print / sales immediately?  Why have Random House and the author not made official statements?  Most importantly, why is it still on sale?

Both Amazon (US) and Barnes & Noble have pulled the title from their catalog.   There is some discrepancy as to whether it was Amazon / B&N who did this or Mattel / Random House requesting it.  But, it is still on sale at other vendors and this is not ok.  We need this pulled off the market entirely.  I agree 100% with everything said in the National center for Women in Technology (NCWIT)’s open letter to Bryan Stockton (Mattel CEO).  This book needs to be removed from all inventories, and the promise of a revised version of the book needs to be made.  And, until this happens, this petition must continue.


Two days ago, this was the #1 best seller on Amazon in the category of children’s computer & technology books!

Saving Barbie

November 19 2014

Yesterday, Carola sent me a surprising article about a Barbie book.

I was in shock about the book.  That is absolutely ridiculous.  The whole gender issue aside, kids should be inspired to do things themselves and to create things themselves, not to rely on others to fix their messes and then take credit for other’s work.

I don’t usually do this, but today,
I made a petition … Please sign it

Smelly Pants

September 9 2014

Yesterday, I found my yoga pants under my bed in a box.  I was so excited to go to yoga after being away from NOLA for three weeks … so, I used the pants I found, assuming that they were clean.  Then, at yoga, I smelled someone’s stinky feet, and the smell would not go away.  When I was in plough pose, I realized that it wasn’t someone’s smelly feet … it was my pants!  How embarrassing!

The culprit ...

The culprit …

The CV

September 4 2014

I’m officially on the job market.  And so begins the task of cleaning up my job application materials.  

I’ve started with my CV, and wanted to share some of the things that I’ve learned while doing this.  Maybe you don’t agree, but this is what works for me:

  1. The CV is not for me.  Highlighting the things important to me (for example, my undergraduate research in conjunction with an abstract algebra class) is not as important as highlighting the things important to the people reading it.  This means that I had to move my internship with Lockheed Martin up to the first page instead of the last.  Readers expect to see all of the work experience together, so give it to them.  Leaving the ones that I don’t think fit as well into my story (since I was not working on computational topology at LMCO) until the end is confusing to the reader.
  2. Important points should not be lost.  Burying my Goldwater scholarship among being on the deans list, being a member of various honor societies, and receiving other university-based scholarships plays down how big the Goldwater was.  Placement is key.
  3. Categories are vital.  In order to help the reader navigate the paper, categorize.  If a category gets to big (or, as in point 2, becomes too heterogeneous), then divide categories.
  4. Keep items concise.  There is no page limit on the CV, but don’t waste space.  I try to keep each item on one or two lines.  So, when the book reviews I voluntarily wrote were taking 5 lines, this was disproportional to my just-over-one-line single-author journal paper.  So, I figured out a way to have them on 2 lines (namely, by creating a category for book reviews).  Also, white space makes the CV look more organized and easier to read.
  5. You will outgrow certain items in your CV.  At one point, I listed every conference that I had attended.  At the beginning of grad school, this made sense.  Now, my CV is long enough without this list, so I only list the conferences/workshops that are selective: either by invitation only or ones to which I had to apply.
  6. Approach the CV with new eyes.  When I have someone else look at my CV, they often provide useful feedback.  I tell them to give me all feedback that they may have.  I like to listen to all options, and filter out the ones that don’t work for me.  This also goes back to point 1.  If something is confusing to even one of my friends/colleagues who look at my CV, it will be confusing to someone of the review committee.  (I’m welcome to more suggestions as well).

As I said, this is what worked for me.  #1 in my list was the hardest thing for me to deal with.  But, once I realized this, I made a few small changes that had a huge impact on the readability of my CV for someone who is not me.

Huba Huba

August 18 2014

Three and a half years ago, I cleaned out my grandparent’s apartment.  My grandmother, Nanny, had just passed away.  My mom had gone through the important paperwork, but there was still lots to do.  I boxed up many things, hoping to go through them one day.  And, slowly, I am going through everything.  One day, I may even find that banana-shaped spoon my sister keeps asking me for.

Today, I found a piece of history.  I found my grandfather’s list of WWII missions, typed by typewriter.

Mission LIst

Mission LIst

Just one week ago, I went to the WWII museum in New Orleans and spent hours with Debbie learning about Operation Overloard (the invasion of Normandy that started on D-Day).  As I read the document in my hand, I thought that I was looking at an artifact in the museum.

FRANCE  JUNE 8 – ETAMPS — Faireasy
FRANCE  JUNE 10 – CAMBRAI – Rough for some of the fellows
FRANCE JUNE 14 – Le BOURGETS (PARIS) Flack Gunners were hot
FRANCE JUNE 17 – LILLE – *Not bad
GERMANY JUNE 17 – HAMBURG – Flack – Plenty of it tough holes in ship
FRANCE JUNE 19 – BORDEAUX – Bad weather turned back – Flack Mild
FRANCE June 20 – WATT – Buzz Bombs Flack Moderate
FRANCE June 22 – ROUEN – Flack moderate to light
FRANCE June 28 – LEON – Flack light
FRANCE JULY 4 – TOURS – Flack light
FRANCE JULY 6 – CROSSVILLE – More flack – Not too close
GERMANY JULT 7 – LEIPZIG – Plenty flack – German must have been mad
holes in wings gas tank
GERMANY JULY 11 – MUNICH – Plenty of flack
GERMAN JULY 16 – Some more flack more holes sweater somemore
GERMAN JULY 18 – PEENEMUNDE – Flack not close long ride
GERMAN JULY 20 – LEIPZIG – Flack holes – rough worried for a while
FRANCE JULY 24 – ST.LO – Helped the ground forces no flack
FRANCE JULY 25 – ST LO – Went again really paster the enemy
GERMANY AUG 4 – ANKLAN – Flack light not bad
GERMAN AUG 5 – NEINBURG – No flack good trip
FRANCE AUG 8 – CAEN – Flack very heavy holes in ship engine hit
BELGIUN AUG 9 – MALMENDY – Flack light not bad
FRANCE AUG 11 – BREST – Flack light short ride not bad
FRANCE AUG 13 – LOUVIER – Flack light but fairly accurate
GERMANY AUG 14 – STUTTGART – Plenty of flack accurate holes in ship
GERMANY AUG 16 – LEIPZIG – Flack heavy rough holes in ship
BELGIUN AUG 17 – NAMURE – Flack accurate not too heavy
BLEGIUN AUG 26 – ANTWERP – Flack accurate not too heavy

My grandfather’s typed notes that read like a weather report, if only the word “flack” were replaced by “rain”.  I suspected that flack = enemy fire, but I looked it up on Wikipedia to be sure:  Flack is anti-aircraft warfare.  That means that every second of every mission, my grandfather and his crew did not know if they would make it to the next second.  War is horrible.

According to the typed notes, they flew 29 missions total. According to the 351st bomb group online records, my grandfather flew 31 missions (search for Edward Ryan or serial number 13099759).  There was a second mission on 20 June and a missing one on 12 June.  I am not sure whose records were more accurate — and both could be flawed.  I remember my grandmother saying “your grandfather flew X missions over Normandy and Germany”.  I just wish that I remembered what number X was.

Then, I remembered a story I was told about the plane my grandfather flew in, the Huba Huba.  I was told that it was shot down in the very next mission after my grandfather’s last mission.  So, I wanted to see if these records could verify that (I don’t remember who told me or when, so seemed like a good fact to check).  When I looked at the records, I realized that my grandfather’s crew flew on multiple DIFFERENT B-17s.  (If you look at the online records again, you’ll see that each missions lists the aircarft number).  The last plane he flew went on two more missions.  The last mission of that aircraft (mission # 199) was gunned down, killing all but two members of the crew (who became prisoners of war).  I was still a bit bothered that it was not “the next” mission AND the fact that I couldn’t verify the aircraft’s nickname.

So, I googled “Hubba Bubba” and found a plethora of links about bubble gum.  After reading two newspaper article that I found a year ago from my grandfather’s WWII reunion weekends, I realized the plane was the “Huba Huba” (sometimes written “Hubba Hubba”) and I came across a newspaper article about the plane that went missing.  

That was aircraft 43-37557.  During it’s fated last mission, mission 185, the plane never returned, presumed to have been shot down.  The previous mission, mission 184, my grandfather and his crew were on that plane.  Although mission 184 wasn’t my grandfather’s last mission, I know that this is the plane he was referring to.  First, the name of the plane matched.  Second, he would have known that the plane did not return to the base in England.  What he did not know was that 8 of the 9 crew members survived and became prisoners of war.


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